For the first time in almost a year and a half, I don't know what CD I'm on. Think about that for a second. Any woman struggling through infertility *knows* what CD she's on. It's almost how we identify ourselves. "Hi, my name is Sally and I'm 14 DPO" or "Hi, I'm Bruce, and I'm CD3". Ok, maybe not Bruce, but you know what I mean. Right now, I'm just: "Tutti here, and I don't know WTF is going on".
Which reminds me, I've not updated you on the new plan yet. And that's probably because it makes me break out in hives when I think about it. Big let down: there is no plan. I'm headed back to Dr. D in two weeks for more blood work. Apparently we've got to make sure HCG is down to 0 and see where my TSH is at. Then, I guess, we'll have to wait for my period and a new cycle. Last week the nurse said to "hold off" for this month. I'm not sure if that just meant no meds/appointments, or no-trying-for-baby-the-old-fashioned-way. Not that that would result in anything anyway.
I saw The Guru on Monday for a followup appointment. I think love him. Like, I wish he was my grandfather and I could go hang out at his house after school. As soon as he walked into my little room, he greeted me with a warm hug and told me that he had heard what happened and how sorry he was. I actually felt like he felt sorry too. There is nothing hurried or medical about him. However, I do feel like he is a healer. Is that weird? I'm sad that I won't be able to continue my treatments with him. Once a week at $130 a treatment, well, that's just not possible. Hopefully, I'll be in good hands with his associate.
Oh! And I'm so, so glad that I went to the RESOLVE meeting last week. It was... exactly what I needed. It's nice to know other women IRL that are going through this. Not that I would wish this on anyone, but you know what I mean.