There was no heartbeat today. Appears that it probably stopped a few days ago.
As much as I was trying to prepare myself for this, the extreme 24-7 morning sickness gave me a little hope. I suppose it was just lingering hormones. Or maybe Halloween's ultimate trick.
The D&C is scheduled for tomorrow. I'm familiar with the process. I'll wear my yoga pants and favorite sweatshirt; the one where I can pull the sleeves down over my hands. I'll ask for extra blankets to bury myself in as I wait my turn. I'll cry as they put the IV in my arm and then even more as they fit the mask over my face. Although I'm prepared for it, I don't think this is something you ever get used to. If anything, the pain becomes even more intense.
I am so, so so sorry. I wish there was more I could do that to offer those words. Your blog is so helpful to me, and I was truly hopeful that this pregnancy would be your miracle. Deepest condolences.
ReplyDeleteMy heart just breaks for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry.
Sending you hugs..LOTS of them!
So heartbroken and so very sorry. Will be thinking if you prepare for what there is no way to prepare.
ReplyDeleteOh it for sure is nothing to get used to, and harder with each time. I am sorry this is happening again. I just want to scream for you. I wish such a horrible experience didn't happen, and keep happening to ones so deserving. Will be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteSending you TX-sized hugs. I am so very sorry.
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. :( Thinking of you, and sending peaceful vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteReading this has filled my heart with such sadness for you and your husband. I am sorry.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry :(
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I'm just so, so sorry.
ReplyDeleteIt's just not fair you're going through this again. I'm so sorry. Prayers and hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry you are having to go through this again...
ReplyDeleteThis post broke my heart. I am so so so sorry. Praying for you if that's ok.
ReplyDeleteYou know how much I love you. I hate that you are having to go through this again and I know there is nothing I can say to take away the pain of what is happening right now. But your e-mail today reassured me how strong you are. You, my friend, are a warrior. Sending you all my love.
ReplyDeleteToo hard, life is too hard sometimes. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteHeartbroken. Simply and utterly heartbroken. Wrapping you in love and wishing I knew how to take all of this away.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry that you are going through this yet again. RPL is a horridly ugly thing to live through. I am so sorry for your loss, and for your previous losses as well. Please know that you are not alone - there are unfortunately many of us who also know exactly what it's like, and we are here to abide with you always. I hope everything goes as well as possible with the D&C; please let us know how you are, be it okay or not at all, when you can.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts with you today. I'm so very very sorry. I am thinking of you. This has been a very long process with too many ups and downs. Prayers for peace for you.
ReplyDeletekd
I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and your husband....
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