Monday, October 8, 2012

Cycle 19, CD 40 (22 DPO)

Beta #3 came back with good doubling numbers. At 22dpo I'm sitting at 8712 which actually exceeds the high end of the hcg chart. 

Last week was really hard for me. The shock of finding out I was newly pregnant again brought up all the emotions from my last miscarriage. And they spilled out everywhere. It was something I was wholly unprepared for. But in these last few days I've heeded Cristy's advice and begun to feel things without fighting against them; allowing the pain of missing my last little one to mesh with the excitement of a possible brand new beginning. It has been rolling around together to where sometimes I can't tell where one starts and the other ends. But I think that's ok. 

More than anything I'm sitting here thankful. So thankful it makes my eyes well with tears and my heart scream with hope. 

11 comments:

  1. That's the beauty of a new beginning, not forgetting the past and hopeful for what's to come!

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  2. I have so much love for you it is redonkulous. Let the hope shine through, it will never erase the pain of the past but it is okay to feel happy about this. You deserve to be happy so much. I think about you daily, can't wait to Thursday for you.

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  3. So happy things continue to look good. The weird in between if grief and celebration is a difficult line. I have finally accepted that its ok to feel both. It's complicated, but ok.

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  4. I hope so much for you too!!!! Your numbers are amazing girl...you are a pregnant mama!! You deserve this so much. I can't say it enough, but I will I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!! Your blog has been making me smile like you don't even know!

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  5. What a beautiful number! I'm so glad you're feeling thankful ... let the emotions take their course and hold onto all the good you can find.

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  6. So, so happy for you that things are looking good. Those are beautiful numbers and I have faith that this time is going to work out. I think all the emotions are only natural, but hopefully this thankfulness and hope will carry you forward.

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  7. Those are wonderful numbers. I'm thankful right along with you. You deserve this happiness. *hugs*

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  8. I am so glad that good things keep happening. You deserve this bit of luck that's come your way, and I'm glad that you're working on accepting where you are instead of trying to force yourself to feel just one way. I can't wait to follow your pregnancy over the coming months :)

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  9. Those numbers are incredible! I can't imagine all the emotions you are feeling right now, but I bet hope will rise above them all to be the strongest. I am praying this is finally the happy ending to your very difficult journey!

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  10. I absolutely love your last two sentences. They gave me goosebumps as I was reading them. I'm still praying for you that it's your turn to bring home your baby. I wish I could give you a great big hug right about now. XO

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  11. Your numbers are so high I bet you are carrying twins!

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