Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Standing still, again

I walked out of my RE's office with a box in my hands. A box I am all too familiar with, stamped with bold blue typeface: PRODUCTS OF CONCEPTION.

I don't even know what to write anymore. What new words can I find to describe what it feels like to go through yet another miscarriage? My third this year.

I don't think there are any.

The yolk sac had grown a little, which apparently isn't a good sign. But more importantly, there was no heartbeat. With tears in her eyes, Dr. D said she was 99% certain that this pregnancy would not go any further. I have an u/s next Wednesday to make 100% certain. Then, we'll schedule another D&C. Get more genetic testing. Mourn one more loss.
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25 comments:

  1. Non Sequitur ChicaOctober 16, 2012 at 1:40 PM

    *sigh* I'm sorry that you have to go through this again. I will hold out hope that you are in the 1% next week.

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  2. MelOctober 16, 2012 at 1:49 PM

    I'm so very sorry this is happening to you again. Awful. Unthinkable...so sorry.

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  3. Lyndsey DavisOctober 16, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    I'm so sorry. No one should have to go through loss, especially that many this close together. You are in my prayers.

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  4. JennyOctober 16, 2012 at 2:26 PM

    I had tears in my eyes when I read this. This is just too awful to be true.

    I'm so very, very sorry.

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  5. AmandaOctober 16, 2012 at 3:30 PM

    No, no, no. I wish more than anything I can make this more fair for you; that I could guarantee a miracle at your next ultrasound; that you can get the happy ending you deserve with this pregnancy. I am so, so sorry. I wish all of us bloggers could come wrap you up in a giant hug.

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  6. AuntMimiOctober 16, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.

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  7. AnonymousOctober 16, 2012 at 5:07 PM

    I'm so very, very sorry. Sending light and love.

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  8. DarylOctober 16, 2012 at 6:50 PM

    My heart hurts for you. This is so unfair, and I'm so sorry.

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  9. KatherineOctober 16, 2012 at 7:06 PM

    There are no words. I am so very sorry.

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  10. AnonymousOctober 16, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    So unfair. I don't know you, but my heart is breaking for you. Please don't give up hope. I know one day things will work out.

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  11. justcyclingalongOctober 16, 2012 at 7:31 PM

    I hate that this is happening. Thinking of you constantly. Xoxo.

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  12. TrishaOctober 16, 2012 at 8:06 PM

    All I have to say is that I love you. You've been in my thoughts all day long. Know that you are not alone in this mourning. Call me whenever you need me.

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  13. HattieOctober 16, 2012 at 9:52 PM

    This makes me so angry and so sad. I am in utter disbelief. I am holding strong to 1% hope. I wish so badly there was more we could do than be sad and hope. Sending so much love to you.

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  14. Curly SueOctober 17, 2012 at 5:42 AM

    You're right. There aren't words anymore. So I won't say anything other than I am sending love and light your way. ::hug::

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  15. AnonymousOctober 17, 2012 at 7:39 AM

    I am so sorry. Thinking of you and sending much love.

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  16. samsOctober 17, 2012 at 8:01 AM

    I am so sorry; my heart aches so much for you. I hope you are able to find answers in the days ahead so you can finally, one day, beat down this IF monster. *hugs*

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  17. FieryOctober 17, 2012 at 1:22 PM

    I am so incredibly sorry. This is completely unfair and I hate that it's happening to you again. ((hugs))

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  18. stork chaserOctober 17, 2012 at 8:42 PM

    Here from Trisha's blog. I'm so sorry. My heart weeps for you. This isn't fair and I wish you weren't going through this. I'm wishing you peace and comfort soon.

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  19. AnonymousOctober 18, 2012 at 3:22 AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about this loss and your previous losses. I'm sending you lots of hugs and thoughts to help get you through this. I'm visiting from Trisha's blog and will be adding you to the ones I check regularly.

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  20. Alb MomOctober 18, 2012 at 10:52 AM

    I'm so sorry.

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  21. AnonymousOctober 18, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    I'm so very sorry.

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  22. ChanelOctober 18, 2012 at 3:33 PM

    I am so very sorry. Keeping you in my thoughts and sending you lots of love. xoxo

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  23. AnonymousOctober 18, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I have had 3 miscarriages this year, too. 4 total. You are not alone in this horrific sorrow. I am glad I found your blog and will be following you. Big hugs from Chicago!

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  24. AnonymousOctober 18, 2012 at 6:11 PM

    I am so sorry this is happening to you again. My heart breaks for you. I hope you are able to get some answers and healing very soon.

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  25. UnknownOctober 23, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    I just found your blog through B's blog at A Work In Progress. I just wanted to say that I am so incredibly sorry for you loss. This is so heartbreaking and unfair. Know that you are in my thoughts.

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