I've been out of town on an emergency trip to visit family. My cousin's wife passed away unexpectedly. There is nothing quite as heartbreaking as going to the funeral of someone that is 4 years younger than yourself and watching her 3 young children peer into her casket wondering why mommy won't wake up. It makes you ask a lot of questions. Wonder what the purpose of all of this is. And cherish those friends and family you have even more.
I am home now and it's nice to be able to sleep in my own bed. Snuggle with my furry babies (yes, Mike is included in that category) and not have the grueling work hours I've been pulling for the last few months. It's also given me some time to try to attempt to wrap my head around this pregnancy, which I've found impossible to do. This is not somewhere where that I ever thought I would be, so how could this really be happening? Answer: just wait Tuttti, everything will be whisked away from you before you know it.
However, with our latest ultrasound I felt a peace come over me that I've not felt since before we started down this road of trying to expand our family. While staring at that monitor, for the very first time, I felt more excitement than I did fear. It's a foreign place to be, but it feels really good.