Recovery: day 29

I am here. I'm just traveling again. As my last post insinuated, I am home. "Home" being a squishy word.

I've been going through some really difficult things lately. Things that I have not been able to post about yet, but hopefully will soon. The other day I was with my mom; the tears were falling fast, my body was weak, and everything just felt so... big. My mom pulled me to her and I ended up falling asleep with my head in her lap while she stroked my hair. I felt like I was three years old again. So loved. So safe.

The door has opened. Now I just have to step through. It's just that that first step is a doozy. And I'm terrified.

Recovery: day 20

I'm having a hard time seeing the clearing through the storm. Sometimes, it just feels like I'm going to drown out here.

Cristy sent these socks to me when I was losing my last pregnancy. Not only did I feel the love when they arrived, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more. Remember those signs that hit me upside the head sometimes? I feel like this was one of them.

There is no place like home.