I feel like I've been pulled in a thousand different directions lately and every time I sit down to write- I get yanked away. I don't like how that feels because I have a lot of things on my mind.
Most importantly, I have this insane fear that I've already ovulated. And my IUI isn't until tomorrow. Here's why:
1) I goofed on my Gonal-F dosage and didn't tell Dr. D. I was supposed to be on 75mg for 3 days and then switch to 37.5 for the remaining days. I did 4 days of 75. I didn't mean to, I just spaced it. I've been being monitored, so I didn't tell anyone. Mostly, because I feel like my RE already thinks I'm slow. I don't know why I think this- but I do. I don't want her to think I'm an idiot. But now I'm nervous I goofed things up.
2) I started getting EWCM last Wednesday. Over 6 days ago! I've never had it for more than 3 days before I O'd. I mentioned this to the RE on staff Friday (mine was out of town) and he didn't seem phased. But still, it seems like a lot.
3) My boobs started getting (very) sore on Saturday. From experience, this doesn't usually happen until after the big O.
4) I felt really bloated Saturday. It could be my mind playing tricks on me but I triggered yesterday (which usually makes me hyper away of my overies) and I feel fine today. I don't want to feel fine.
5) Last night, there was a tinge of red when I went to the bathroom. It's that damn mysterious bleeding again. Thankfully it was a very small amount (less than the previous 3 cycles) but still, that usually happens after I ovulate.
6) I'm an idiot and didn't testing OPKs until Saturday. I don't know what's wrong with me but if I was flexible enough to kick myself, I totally would.
I don't know if this is all paranoia, or my meds screwing with me, or if it's got some truth to it. I'm going to mention these things when I go in tomorrow, and I'm really hoping that she'll do an u/s before the IUI. Just more reasons for her to think I'm an idiot, but whatever. The last thing I want to do is spend $825.00 on a procedure that has no use.
This not knowing it just making me feel really out of control.