Monday, February 20, 2012

Cycle 15, CD 12 (??DPO)

I feel like I've been pulled in a thousand different directions lately and every time I sit down to write- I get yanked away. I don't like how that feels because I have a lot of things on my mind.

Most importantly, I have this insane fear that I've already ovulated. And my IUI isn't until tomorrow. Here's why:

1) I goofed on my Gonal-F dosage and didn't tell Dr. D. I was supposed to be on 75mg for 3 days and then switch to 37.5 for the remaining days. I did 4 days of 75. I didn't mean to, I just spaced it. I've been being monitored, so I didn't tell anyone. Mostly, because I feel like my RE already thinks I'm slow. I don't know why I think this- but I do. I don't want her to think I'm an idiot. But now I'm nervous I goofed things up.
2) I started getting EWCM last Wednesday. Over 6 days ago! I've never had it for more than 3 days before I O'd. I mentioned this to the RE on staff Friday (mine was out of town) and he didn't seem phased. But still, it seems like a lot.
3) My boobs started getting (very) sore on Saturday. From experience, this doesn't usually happen until after the big O.
4) I felt really bloated Saturday. It could be my mind playing tricks on me but I triggered yesterday (which usually makes me hyper away of my overies) and I feel fine today. I don't want to feel fine.
5) Last night, there was a tinge of red when I went to the bathroom. It's that damn mysterious bleeding again. Thankfully it was a very small amount (less than the previous 3 cycles) but still, that usually happens after I ovulate.
6) I'm an idiot and didn't testing OPKs until Saturday. I don't know what's wrong with me but if I was flexible enough to kick myself, I totally would.

I don't know if this is all paranoia, or my meds screwing with me, or if it's got some truth to it. I'm going to mention these things when I go in tomorrow, and I'm really hoping that she'll do an u/s before the IUI. Just more reasons for her to think I'm an idiot, but whatever. The last thing I want to do is spend $825.00 on a procedure that has no use.

This not knowing it just making me feel really out of control.


  1. I'm so sorry you feel out of control. Have you ovulated without a trigger before? I think getting an ultrasound before the IUI is a good idea - it would be silly to do the procedure if you'd already O'd. I hope you get some answers!

  2. Really hoping you did not ovulate yet and that you get an ultrasound before your iui. It is amazing how much an IF has to's amazing we can't go around identifying one another by the number of gray hairs on our heads! Fingers crossed for you!!