Monday, September 3, 2012

Cycle 19, CD 5

Yup, we're back to regularly scheduled programming- my period officially arrived (with all sorts of emotions). But it doesn't really matter because I'm benched. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to count other than the passing days, and no hope that we'll be any closer to a pregnancy by the end of the month. I know this is a time for continued healing and it is still early in that process- but I'm ready. I'm desperate to start looking forward again. Purgatory sucks.

I met up with my beloved Trisha last Sunday for a little lunch out in the sun. It was wonderful to see her again and deliver some in-person hugs. Surprisingly not a single tear was shed the entire time- by either of us. Rather, our time together was even more healing than I anticipated. It felt good to process the last few weeks with someone that intimately understands. We talked hopefully of the future and the strength we were trying to rebuild each day. On my drive home, I realized that I felt lighter. It's a strange confluence of events that brought us together, but I am more thankful for her, her friendship, and her strength than I can't possibly put into words.

September is going to be a long month for me. As I said earlier, it's going to entail a whole lot of waiting. So to pass the time, I thought it would be fun to participate in EmHart's September Photo Challenge. I probably won't play every day, but I'll do my best to not miss too many. If nothing else, it'll force me to look up a little more often.

Prompt: White


I change my wines with the season: whites during spring/summer, reds during fall/winter. It just tastes better that way. I know it's officially branching into fall now that Labor Day has arrived, however it will still feel like summer for at least a few more months. Which is great, because I can indulge in my favorite Chardonnay for a while longer. And this is exactly what has been getting me through the last few weeks. I figure it's ok to drown myself a while longer.

[Click here for more information about Emhart's September Photo Challenge]


  1. Belle's photo challenge fell during a month of purgatory for me, and it turned out to be a really helpful way to pass the time. I hope EmHart's does the same for you. I'll look forward to your photos!

  2. Sorry your month will be full of waiting - I know how much that sucks when all you want to do is move on with your life :-\ You do sound like you're getting back to normal (however normal all this is, anyway). So glad you and Trisha were able to meet up. I really feel like God put you two in each others' lives for a purpose. Have fun with the photo challenge!

  3. Glad to see a new cycle started for you. Another step closer...

  4. LOVE LOVE LOVE you! I'm already looking forward to our next visit. As hard as it is to have your period start at least it is a sense of closure. The past is done, time to move on to your future. And you my friend, have a beautiful future ahead of you. You are such an amazing person and I feel so lucky to count you as a friend. Bright side is that chardonnay you have there, I say drown away for now!

  5. Hang in there girl! I hope that this month will continue to bring you healing as you wait for the green light!

  6. I can't imagine the mixed emotions of starting a new cycle, and I know waiting another month completely blows. Hoping this time off brings even more healing and the strength you need for moving forward.
    In the meantime, I like the photo challenge, but I like the drinking even more (which is why I sometimes worry I have fermented my uterus...sigh). I completely agree with you about the seasonal drinking...for some reason, white just tastes better in the summer.
    Thinking of you and clinking glasses from far away!

  7. I am so happy to hear you are breaking through the clouds and are ready to start looking forward into the sunlight. And I'm thrilled that you have such a wonderful, supportive blogger friend who can support you IRL. Support and uderstanding makes all the difference in the healing process.

    I love your photo too. In fact, I'm having a glass of red wine myself right now. :)

  8. I hated being in purgatory -- all that waiting with nothing to hope for, at least for a while, was torture. But I'm glad you had a nice visit with Trisha and have been able to find some sense of distraction in the photo challenge. Fingers are crossed that this time passes quickly for you and that you find more healing in the process. I know that great things await you on the other side of all this pain. ~ big hugs ~

  9. I'm glad to see that you are healing. Purgatory sucks, but use this time to heal more. That is what I'm doing. I'm actually glad we didn't do this cycle, if that makes sense. I also do the same with white and red..I change with the seasons too!