Thursday, February 28, 2013

Due date #2

Today is my due date for my second. For my little girl.

I woke up with a tear streaked face and a wet pillow.

There is so much good in my life right now and I'm so thankful for all of it. But the sting of what today is, what it should have been, runs straight into my heart. I wish that I could have met her today. I know she would have been so beautiful.



At midnight last night I found an email sitting in my inbox from my sweet T. She is facing down the same black day, the loss of her son, in just two more days. Her words were written for me, but I know the pain is hers as well. Her words tore into my heart and I was left sobbing. For my grief. For hers. For my daughter and her son. For the unknown in what lies ahead- for both of us. I've never felt so connected to someone where I knew my pain and joy were so intimately understood.

Trisha's husband, J, made this illustration for me at his wife's request. I am so touched. I will keep it close to my heart and look to it when I need strength.

May the breeze blow gently and the light continue to shine.

21 comments:

  1. Thinking about you on a day that I wish no one had to endure. I so wish life was different. Much love!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thinking of you and honoring your sweet girl today.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thinking of you and saying a prayer for your children. I'm glad you have friends who can help you through days like this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is so sweet what her husband did for you. I love that he did that!! You have been through so much hell. I'm glad that you are spending today thinking of her, and honoring her. And yes she would have been perfect and beautiful. I know I've said this before, but I do believe they come back to us...I do. I believe the son I'm pregnant with came back to me. I will hold her deep my heart today like you are. Much love!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thinking of you today and every day. (Hugs)

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is such a hard day to get through. I thought my day in December would be easier than it was, and I cried from the moment I woke until the moment I fell asleep. I'm thinking of you, my sweet friend. Holding you and your lost babies in my heart today, and always.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My heart is heavy for you today friend. The "what should have beens" are so hard to get through emotionally. I've been thinking about you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so sorry that you have to have a day like this. No one should have to. That's a beautiful illustration and a lovely image. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thinking of you. These days are always the hardest.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thinking of you and sending lots of love.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hugs hugs hugs. Thinking of you my sweet.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm so sorry for your loss, that sounds so fleeting and without meaning but as I read this post it struck me beyond what I'd realized before how unbelievable hard fertility problems can be. I work at a fertility clinic and they ask me to check in on blogs to offer encouragement, so please know there are people who you don't even know who are hoping for better days for you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just thinking of you today friend!

    ReplyDelete
  14. How are you doing? So many of us want to hear about you and hope you're doing well

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thinking of you today. I hope you are doing well.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I hope all is well! My name is Heather and I was wondering if you could answer a question about your blog! My email is Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Congratulations on your miracle Tutti! Read about it on Trisha's blog..

    ReplyDelete
  18. Just found your blog while surfing the internet... Wanna say 'hi'... :)

    ReplyDelete